July 27, 2010

Stay Tuned for Your Regularly Scheduled Program

Posted in Whiskey Night at 12:21 AM by TKWatson

I’m in a bit of a funk tonight.  So… writing about things I pink fluffy heart just doesn’t really feel right.  (I know, I know… the whole point of the pink fluffy heart Mondays was to help alleviate the funk.  Problem is… this isn’t the “Monday blues” kinda funk.  It’s more like a… “meh… I just want to wallow for a few hours” kinda funk.  So… please excuse what may be a series of seemingly unrelated paragraphs to follow as I write from the heart of my wallow.

(Luckily, somewhat for myself, but mostly for you — dear reader, Monday is almost over in my neck of the woods, so I don’t have long to wallow.)

The truth is… I’m not even exactly sure what I’m wallowing about.

I had a pretty nice weekend.  Friday I left work early and went up to Prescott with my sister and bff to do some wedding-ing.  We had a blast.  (At least… I did.  I’m going to pretend like they did too… because it’s my wedding and I’ll make shit up if I want to…)  Anywho… Saturday and Sunday I didn’t do much of anything except relax and spend some time with the fam for my mom’s b-day.  You’d think after all that R&R, I’d be refreshed and ready to hit the week head on!

I guess I just have a few little things eating at me that have turned into a bit of a festering sore.  I’ve really got to learn to take care of these things before they start devouring me and I end up lying motionless on my bed, paralyzed with [insert emotion of choice here: guilt, fear, anxiety, frustration, etc.] over my own inability to derive perfect solutions to the entire world’s problems. (… What?!  I just want everyone to be happy… is that so bad?)  (Don’t look at me like that, dear reader.  Stop judging.  HEY!  YOU!  KNOCK IT OFF!!!)

Oh.  Uhh… uh-hem.

Anywho… I have begun to find that writing is a sweet, therapeutic, release.  It feels good to put some words to the zillions of thoughts swimming around in my head.  It also feels good to know that at least a few people  are reading what I’m saying and getting to know the me inside my head.

So… I write.  For me.  But also for you.

If you, dear reader, can just look past all my terrible grammar, corny humor, and attempts to gloss over the things that come from the most sensitive parts of my soul… you’ll find nothing more than a small, shy, blonde girl…  desperate to connect in a way that makes her feel alive… praying that you’ll see through the words to the heart of it all and love her still (or better yet… more)… and hoping that maybe someday she can return the favor.

Ah… writing… like balm on my brain.

But alas, my time for wallowing is up as Monday in my world draws to a close.  (Or… more precisely… drew to a close about twenty-two minutes ago…).

Sweet Dreams, Dear Reader.

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