August 27, 2010

Starting Over

Posted in Best Wedding Ever, Emo Day, Grown-Up Life, Military Wifery, Story of My Life, The Amazing G, Whiskey Night at 10:02 AM by TKWatson

Dear Reader,

You may (or may not) have noticed that I’ve been a wee-bit MIA the past couple weeks.  Please don’t take it personally.  The highway of life spit a big huge gigantic rock at my windshield two weeks ago, and I’ve been working to pick  up the shattered pieces since.

What happened you ask?  Well… I’d rather  not go into details, both for his sake and mine, but the conclusion of the story is this…

G and I called off our wedding.

And we broke up.

It’s been a rough few weeks.

Our relationship ended amicably, and we still care very much about one another… it just didn’t turn out quite as we had planned.  So I’ve taken off my ring [insert huge sobs here] and am trying to figure out how to start over.  Among my efforts to redefine my life as a single, not-so-military-wife, has been to move my blog.  For anyone still following me after I left you high and dry with no pink fluffy hearts or crazy talk, please follow me on over to my new blog at:

http://justbri.net

Please keep in mind that my new blog is a work in progress.  I’ve switched platforms in this move to a self-hosted version of wordpress.  And let.me.tell.you. this self-hosted thing is KICKING MY BUTT.  (sob… someone help me… it’s dark in here! sob. oh… uhh…. ) But… I’ll figure it out.  Just don’t hate me in the mean time, um-k?  Thanks.

I debated whether or not to move my content from Letters to Half a World Away or not.  In the end, I decided to take it all with me.  I don’t want to sweep my life with G under a rug and pretend like it never happened.  It did happen.  And it was good.  I needed a new “home” for my content because I’m no longer writing to half a world away, but since I can’t edit (nor would I edit) the content of my life, I’m choosing not to edit the content of my blogging life either.

It may be a few  more days before I actually have new content up on my new blog, but head on over anyway and check out my previous posts about my life with G if you haven’t done that here.  I’ll be back soon.  Pinky Promise.

Signing off (with my would-have-been name),

TKWatson

August 15, 2010

Military Wifery – Rookie Style

Posted in Military Wifery, Shout-Outs at 2:27 AM by TKWatson

Ok… so I’m not actually a military wife yet, but in 61 days, that’ll change.

A few weeks ago, I started scouting out other military wife bloggers – both those who are new to it, like me, and those who have been there, done that, and whom I can hopefully gain some wisdom from.  My quest for such bloggers has not been in vain.

So far I’ve found:

Amanda whose husband is a United States Solider.  They are currently two months into a twelve month deployment.

Betty whose husband is a United States Marine.  Her husband will be deploying any day now from what I gather on her blog.

Rebekah whose husband is a United States Airman.  They’re pretty new to this life too.

Taryn whose fiance is a United States Marine.  They will be tying the knot just a few days before G and I and she has just recently moved to be with him.

Mrs. S whose husband is a United States Airman.  They found out today (well… technically yesterday) that he will be deploying in mere days; keep them in your prayers.

Casey whose husband is a United States Airman.  They PCSed (read: moved; changed stations) to Turkey a month or so ago (and most of their belongings haven’t caught up with them yet.)

Even though I’ve only just begun reading their blogs, I have already found so much hope in these women.  As mine and G’s wedding is fast approaching (hard to believe it was seven and a half months ago that G asked me to be his wife…) the question of what it will really mean to be a military wife has become bigger and bigger in my mind.  I am blessed that G’s mom is a wonderful resource for me when it comes to answering this question, but I’m also excited to read about the lives of women who are close to my age, at similar points in their lives, and whose experiences in the here and now will be echoed in my own life.  These women have already shown me through their writing that yes, being a military wife is hard, but it is no match for the power of love, nor is the life itself without benefit.  Most importantly, they have shown me that military wives are not magical creatures with superhuman powers who take on the difficulties of military life effortlessly; they are just normal people, who are driven to extraordinary things by love.  This has inspired me and comforted me beyond measure.  And it has made me realize a few things:

  • There will be times in this life when I will be scared, angry, frustrated and so much more — and that’s ok.
  • Sometimes I will cry — but that won’t make me a bad wife or any less of a person.
  • It is and will be so important to find pride, joy, and contentment in the little things, to appreciate them and hold onto them — these are the things that will keep me going during the rough times.
  • I CAN do this, and I don’t have to be anyone or anything but me to do so.

Thank You to these women for making me feel so much less alone in my fears and my dreams.

Thank You to all the many women and men who stand by our airmen, soldiers, marines, and sailors day in and day out, through the good times and the hard times.  I am so humbled to be joining your ranks.

Finally, a thousand times Thank You to the men and women who serve in our military, like my G — you all are my reason for hope and pride in this great country of ours.

July 29, 2010

Prayers of an (almost) Military Wife

Posted in Military Wifery at 12:35 AM by TKWatson

I sat here starring at my computer screen for a great long while tonight, trying to find some inspiration to write about something.  I decided that forcing it just wasn’t going to work, and gave up.  I then clicked on over to my handy Google home page where a little something in the corner caught my eye.  One of the “widgets” on my homepage is a “top news” box, which displays three hot news article headlines.

“CARGO PLANE CRASHES AT AK BASE; 4 PEOPLE ON BOARD”

G is in Alaska.  G works on a base.  G doesn’t fly in cargo planes, but given what G’s job is, him being near a cargo plane is not at all unlikely.

So I opened up the article.  Sure enough… the crash happened in Anchorage.

Cue Panic.

So… I sent a text to G… and then I thought “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU MORON?!  CALL HIM.  DON’T TEXT HIM AT A TIME LIKE THIS!!”

So I took my own Awesome advice and called him.  Luckily, he answered and informed me that, yes, he’d heard about the crash, but no, he wasn’t in any way involved and didn’t even know much about it.  He was happily eating delicious food at Red Robin.

Relief.

Plane accidents happen at airports all around the world.  I image the fact that this crash happened to be a military plane on a military base is unrelated to the specific dangers of military missions.

Still… I couldn’t help but realize… this almost certainly won’t be the last time in my life with G when I’ll panic, thinking that something physically, mentally, or emotionally damaging may have happened to him.  Panic worthy events are bound to occur in “normal” life; I have to imagine that panic stricken moments are basically guaranteed, on at least a semi-regular basis, when your husband is deployed to a foreign land in a war zone.  And during those times, I won’t have the luxury of picking up the phone and calling him like I did tonight.

That’s a bridge I’ll cross when I get there.  (I am lucky that I have at least some experience with having a loved one in a dangerous job.  My dad has been a fireman for as long as I’ve been alive.  (Literally… he graduated from the Phoenix Fire Academy the night I was born.)  I’ve grown used to the idea of him walking into burning buildings on a weekly basis.  Or… at least… I’ve learned how to cope with that reality to the point that it’s something I very rarely worry over.  There is a large gap between my dad being a few miles and an easy phone call away for 24 hours, and my husband being a continent away with no guarantees of timely communication for months on end; never-the-less, I’m grateful that I at least have a foundation for learning to cope with the harsh realities of G’s job.)

I thank God that I have been so lucky as to not yet have faced tragedy in my life with the magnitude that the families of those on board the plane that crashed, are facing tonight.  The closest I can even come to relating, which I discussed here, hardly even registers on the same scale. I pray that the Lord will hold the members of those families close tonight as they face a world of unknowns and unspeakable sorrow.

I also pray that the Lord will give me the strength to make it through the times in my future when panic is my first instinct and information isn’t readily available.

Most of all, I pray that the Lord will protect G as he travels around the world, working to protect this country that I love, and that for many years to come, G will come safely and wholly home to me.

Amen.

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