July 11, 2010
Alaska v. Arizona
So… Alaska. Ya. It’s like… Santa’s backyard, only without the cute little elves. Thanks to the USAF for stationing my beloved in the freakin’ coldest place on earth. (Ok… that might be a slight exaggeration…). I have yet to actually visit during the winter, so I can’t personally attest to the harsh Alaskan winters, but I think it’s a fairly safe assumption to say that the winters there are no picnic. (Ya know… since, if you tried to have a picnic during the middle of an Alaskan winter, you’re drinks would probably freeze and your butts would get all frostbitten sitting on the icy ground…).
I’ve had pretty severe anxiety over moving to this giant meat freezer of a state in order to be with G. I was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. Let me repeat that… I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN PHOENIX, ARIZONA. In case you’re reading this and you’re unfamiliar with Phoenix, let me familiarize you a bit.
Death Valley. The Sahara Desert. Hell. Phoenix is kinda like that. (Side-note… those people who say “Oh… at least it’s a dry heat…” have clearly never been here on a day when it reaches 122 f*ing degrees and the sun’s death rays scorch any living creature which dares to venture outside. Who gives a ‘flying rat’s behind’ what the humidity is when you’re skin is practically melting off your bones and the leather of your car seat is giving you third degree burns?! How many places do you know where leather car seats aren’t so much a luxury as they are a hazard…)
Anywho… where was I? Ah yes… I was born and raised in the giant oven state. Now I’m anticipating moving to the giant meat freezer state. Giant oven state… to… giant meat freezer state. Anyone else beginning to see the problem here? Couple this with my lack of travel experience and what you’ve got is a girl who can count the number of times she’s ever seen snow on two hands; forget ever actually been in a snowy climate for longer than 24 hours at a time. Now I’m supposed to figure out how to dress, drive, live, and generally survive in a place that considers a warm day to be 70 degrees? For crying out loud… a running joke in my family is that anytime it dips below 85 degrees, Nana makes you put on a hooded sweatshirt! (You have quite the sense of humor, God. Just sayin’.)
So… I went to Alaska this past weekend. G and I got to spend a wonderful four days together. We hung out, went to a BBQ, did a little house cleaning/organizing, mostly just “normal couple” things. That might not sound like much of a vacation to some people, but for me, it was perfect. G and I don’t get to do “normal couple” things very often, what with the 3,500 miles in between us on a daily basis, so it always comes as a small treasure when we do get to have that low key time together. Still, I think one of the best parts of the trip for me was the realization that… I don’t hate Alaska. In fact, I kinda fell in love with Alaska. The scenery absolutely dazzled me; as I’ve mentioned before, a good landscape can soothe my soul like nothing else. And let me tell you… the Alaskan landscape is un-freakin’-believably fantastic. Here are some pictures from my trip to Alaska last September (since I’m an idiot and didn’t take any pictures on this trip…).
Honestly, these pictures don’t even come close to doing the landscape justice. A) Because I’m hella far from a professional photographer and B) Because my camera pretty much sucks at life. Still, this might give you a small taste of the beauty Alaska has to offer. Aside from the gorgeous landscape, the city of Anchorage (where G lives) has just enough of a bustling city vibe to satiate the city girl in me, and plenty of the small town feel to make the country girl in me smile. All in all, it’s a pretty cool (no pun intended… *snicker*) place. (One thing to Alaska gets major points docked for… all the crazy dangerous wild animals that roam free (sometimes even roaming into backyards, streets, etc.). When G and I went on a short hike, we took BEAR SPRAY. Like mace. But for bears.)
I’m still not under any delusion that moving from the my home here in “Take-all-your-clothes-off-and-sit-as-still-as-humanely-possible-in-front-of-a fan-to-avoid-death” land to “Screw-the-trees-we-need-them-to-build-a-massive-fire-in-order-to-avoid-death” land, isn’t going to be a walk in the park (ya know… since… ya can’t really walk through too many parks when they’re all COVERED IN 15 FEET OF ICE). But during my four days with G in Alaska, I felt more at peace, and maybe even “at home” than I have in Arizona for a while now. I guess it’s true what they say, “Home is Where the Heart is” and my heart is definitely in Alaska with G. Hopefully, between the sheer comfort of finally being with my love, and my new found love of Alaska, my heart will be warmed enough to melt the ice cubes that form on my nose, eyes, and ears during the winter. Fingers crossed.
June 21, 2010
Random Maternal Instincts
For all who know me (save one or two friends who are still delusional about the state of my mind when it comes to children), having kids has never been a sure thing for me. In fact, many would say that I made up my mind a long time ago to never have kids. The truth has always been somewhere in the middle of the ABSOLUTELY and NEVER scale. Though I’ll admit at times it waned more on the NEVER side of the scale, I have never seen it as a “No, absolutely not” set in concrete decision.
Lately though, I’ve been having more and more moments of “maybe I could and would actually do this whole parenthood thing.” Today, while reading a blog post by an old acquaintance, who is preparing for her and her husband’s first child, I had one such moment. Perhaps this was partially spurred by the fact that yesterday was a day dedicated to the Father folks and as such, I spent part of the day remembering and being grateful for the amazing, wonderful father I have had. This all got me to thinking about why these moments seem to happen more and more frequently.
This is the conclusion I’ve come to… I’ve finally found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. The man I want to share my memories with. The man I want to build a home with. I realized that the thought of creating a life with my soon-to-be husband (I shall henceforth be referring to my beloved simply as “G”… ) doesn’t scare me, in fact, it excites me, just a little bit. There are still so many things about being a parent that I’m not sure I could handle, and I’m certainly not looking to make a decision on the matter any time in the near future (read: next several years) if for no other reason than I want to have time for just me and G before we bring any kids into the mix. But the point is, more and more I’m seeing the blessing side of having a child. Creating a life that is half you and half the person you love (with a lot of help from above…) sounds pretty dang cool. It helps a lot that I see in G the ability to be an amazing, loving father; just like my dad was and is. I’m beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, together we could survive the parenthood gig; he could help to curb my neurotic, worrisome tendencies, and I could help manage nutrition when he’s fed the kids far too much candy and not enough no vegetables.
It’s an interesting thought, and maybe someday in the distant future it’ll be more than just a thought… but for now… I’m going to focus on what table cloths to use at our wedding reception. Seems a bit easier…
Letters to Half a World Away 